kisses and hugs

Getting dumped — it happens to the best of us and nothing feels worse. Losing love is hard enough but add rejection to the mix and it can be devastating. When you’ve been dumped it feels like your world is closing in to smother you and you wonder if you will ever feel happy again. The good news is "yes" one day you will feel happy again, you will love again and the loss will become nothing more than a life experience. But when you are in the middle of it, caught in those end days of a once blossoming relationship, it can feel like the confusion will never end.

Relationships don’t just end. It doesn’t play that one day you are part of a happy couple floating around blissopolis only to find that the next day you are flying solo and moving in to dumpsville. Like it or not you can always see a break up coming.

There are always clues. When we sense a looming break up we often retreat in to denial and this is why actually being dumped seems like such a shock. But the reality is that anybody who is willing to look can see the writing on the wall long before the relationship actually ends. What kind of things signal that the relationship is coming to a close? Here are the 12 most common signs that the end is near.

1. S/he is suddenly busy all the time, and never seems to have time to spend with you. When you find yourself becoming less and less of a time priority, even if the reasons for the distance seem logical, it is never a good thing.
2. You find that only your fingers do any walking. If you are the only one who ever picks up the phone, especially if the phone calling used to be split pretty equally, break up bells should start ringing.
3. When you call, more often than not you are asked to leave a message. Be it a parent, sib or friend, if somebody else always seems to answer the phone and take a message you are probably being screened, and we don’t screen people we want to talk to!
4. S/he says s/he is one place but is really another. People do not tend to lie for no reason, if s/he is not being honest about where s/he is or who s/he is with there is rarely a noble reason for the deception.
5. You don’t seem to connect anymore. Remember how when you were first getting together you would run into each other in unexpected places, like between classes or at the mall? If these "accidental" meetings become less common place it may be no accident at all.
6. Her/his friends seem distant. When somebody wants out of a relationship they often let their friends in on the secret well ahead of time. If your steady’s friends seem less friendly it is a good indicator that they know something you don’t and that it probably isn’t good.
7. The lovin’ is gone! When affection and PDAs (public displays of affection) start to dwindle it could mean the fire of love is also going out.
8. S/he starts introducing you to new people as "a friend". If s/he is calling you a friend that is all s/he sees you as — bottom line.
9. You seem to be fighting a lot about little things. Lots of little fights often mean much bigger things are really at issue.
10. Kissing and telling. Respect is a relationship essential, once it has been compromised the relationship often follows suit.
11. You just can’t seem to do ANYTHING right. Be it the style of your hair or the way you walk, if your steady suddenly finds fault with everything you do s/he is probably trying to push you away.
12. You aviod any conversation that begins with "we have to talk" or "I don’t know how to say this." If your steady is using these opening lines a break up speech usually follows. If you are avoiding conversations that start like this it is probably because you sense that a break up is near and think that if you avoid the talk it won’t happen. You are wrong. If a person wants out of a relationship they will get out whether you let them tell you or not. Avoiding this talk is just prolonging the inevitable.

Getting dumped — it happens to the best of us and nothing feels worse. Losing love is hard enough but add rejection to the mix and it can be devastating. When you’ve been dumped it feels like your world is closing in to smother you and you wonder if you will ever feel happy again. The good news is "yes" one day you will feel happy again, you will love again and the loss will become nothing more than a life experience. But when you are in the middle of it, caught in those end days of a once blossoming relationship, it can feel like the confusion will never end.

Relationships don’t just end. It doesn’t play that one day you are part of a happy couple floating around blissopolis only to find that the next day you are flying solo and moving in to dumpsville. Like it or not you can always see a break up coming.

There are always clues. When we sense a looming break up we often retreat in to denial and this is why actually being dumped seems like such a shock. But the reality is that anybody who is willing to look can see the writing on the wall long before the relationship actually ends. What kind of things signal that the relationship is coming to a close? Here are the 12 most common signs that the end is near.

1. S/he is suddenly busy all the time, and never seems to have time to spend with you. When you find yourself becoming less and less of a time priority, even if the reasons for the distance seem logical, it is never a good thing.
2. You find that only your fingers do any walking. If you are the only one who ever picks up the phone, especially if the phone calling used to be split pretty equally, break up bells should start ringing.
3. When you call, more often than not you are asked to leave a message. Be it a parent, sib or friend, if somebody else always seems to answer the phone and take a message you are probably being screened, and we don’t screen people we want to talk to!
4. S/he says s/he is one place but is really another. People do not tend to lie for no reason, if s/he is not being honest about where s/he is or who s/he is with there is rarely a noble reason for the deception.
5. You don’t seem to connect anymore. Remember how when you were first getting together you would run into each other in unexpected places, like between classes or at the mall? If these "accidental" meetings become less common place it may be no accident at all.
6. Her/his friends seem distant. When somebody wants out of a relationship they often let their friends in on the secret well ahead of time. If your steady’s friends seem less friendly it is a good indicator that they know something you don’t and that it probably isn’t good.
7. The lovin’ is gone! When affection and PDAs (public displays of affection) start to dwindle it could mean the fire of love is also going out.
8. S/he starts introducing you to new people as "a friend". If s/he is calling you a friend that is all s/he sees you as — bottom line.
9. You seem to be fighting a lot about little things. Lots of little fights often mean much bigger things are really at issue.
10. Kissing and telling. Respect is a relationship essential, once it has been compromised the relationship often follows suit.
11. You just can’t seem to do ANYTHING right. Be it the style of your hair or the way you walk, if your steady suddenly finds fault with everything you do s/he is probably trying to push you away.
12. You aviod any conversation that begins with "we have to talk" or "I don’t know how to say this." If your steady is using these opening lines a break up speech usually follows. If you are avoiding conversations that start like this it is probably because you sense that a break up is near and think that if you avoid the talk it won’t happen. You are wrong. If a person wants out of a relationship they will get out whether you let them tell you or not. Avoiding this talk is just prolonging the inevitable.